Writing Excused 10.11 - Outlining

Next month we’re going to talk Beginnings: decide on the promises you want to make to your readers in your story. Then outline according to those promises.

Original outline (using short story structure from RMFW 2014 panel with Betsy Dornbush) for the first story I'm working on:

Story Problem

External - Need to secure right of passage through Panamanian territory/airspace.
Internal - Crippling shyness? Sent along to learn to deal with others.

Character - Protagonist - Cabin Boy
Character - Antagonist - vs Eclipse? Spanish? Unsympathetic Captain?
Character - Local Native authority
Character - Albino Eclipse crew leader

Inciting Incident - Crew sent to secure treaty for airspace rights for the next period. Protag’s father initially supposed to lead the expedition, but pulled out at the last minute.

Obstacle - But I don’t want to be a cabin boy! At least, not under this other captain. This is going to suck…
Tough. You’re going anyway
I don’t like this guy.
I don’t like you either, brat, but we’re stuck with each other.

Call to Action - Locals are not in a negotiating mood - it’s the season of the eclipse, and that takes priority.

Obstacle - They demand cabin boy’s participation in the eclipse ritual or else the deal is off.

Point of no return - Cabin boy left with locals - crew to stay away during the eclipse, return afterwards. If ritual succeeds, all will be well.

Obstacle - Failure. Cabin boy runs away from his captors, catches up with his crew.

Black Moment/Dark Night - Crew unsympathetic - everything’s riding on this. He’s turned back over to the locals.

Final obstacle overcome - Ritual is largely symbolic, but very important - keep up appearances. Man behind the curtain? Locals know perfectly well what causes eclipses, after all.

Moment of peace - treaty secured, sense of accomplishment.


***************************************************

Promises Made:

Adventure Story
Interesting location - Panama Colony AU
Interesting characters for protagonist to interact with - Local Indigenous population
Action oriented plot - need to work on this, as the interior is getting top billing
Coming of Age? Character development, at least
Interior dialog vs. External dialog - conversations with other characters to show growth over time.
Make this a little more secondary - as noted above, this is positioned as an action story.

Conclusion: I need to develop much more detailed outlines before I start writing.

Out Of Excuses 2015 - The Writing Excuses Cruise

Part of the reason I've been working through the Writing Excuses exercises for Season 10 is because I signed up for the 2015 Writing Excuses retreat, which took place in September on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. I had kind of hoped to have something ready to actually show to someone, but that didn't happen - I'm still working through a few things with regard to actually producing writing.

And that's one of the big things I'm taking away from the conference - suggestions on breaking through some of my emotional barriers and developing a regular writing habit. I've done all the analysis that I really need to, and I know precisely why certain behaviors pop up regularly, and the only way to really combat them is to simply get my butt in the chair, put my hands on the keyboard, and get words on the page. Big thanks to Mary Robinette Kowal - I got more done this past week than I had in the previous month and a half,

Perhaps I should start more toward the beginning, though. My wife and I met Mary on a Steampunk Cruise two years ago, and renewed our acquaintance on a second Steampunk cruise last year. We started listening to Writing Excuses as a result, and have been applying various lessons learned to our own efforts to learn how to write creative fiction. While we've also been enjoying local events (the Writing tracks at Mile Hi Con and AnomalyCon, the Pikes Peak Writers' Conference, and the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers' Gold Conference), When we heard that Writing Excuses was also doing an annual conference, we decided that we'd sign up the next time one was announced.

And then we found out it was going to be on a cruise ship. Score! After the two Steampunk Cruises, my wife and I have found that we really enjoy cruising as a vacation, and having been forced to transfer our third Steampunk Cruise reservation to a different cruise experience (long story involving a job change because of this...), we found that even just going by ourselves gave us a great chance to get away from it all and get some writing done. Now we'd have a whole cruise devoted to writing, learning about writing, talking with other writers, and so forth. Exellent!

And it certainly was. As noted, I've been less productive lately than I like to admit, and I didn't get a lot of writing actually done on this trip - but on the other hand, every one of the classes gave me something to think about, and I could tell the difference as I was reading on the flight home. I can see where the tension is getting ratcheted up, where the pinch points and midpoints are being set, and where the subplots are interleaving with the main plots. In the writing that I have done over the last few days, I can see where I need to punch up my dialogue, where further description would help, and how I need to demonstrate my protagonist's perceived lack of agency as the thing he really wants to change (since he's evolved from a whiny, spoiled brat into a more sympathetic character that still has a long way to go).

I also learned a few things on a personal level as well. It's gradually getting easier for me to fake being an extrovert. I still use alcohol as a social lubricant, but I'm finding that, especially at sea level, the amount of alcohol it takes to actually lower my filters is much higher than I'm generally comfortable drinking, so the booze actually is more useful as something to talk about than it is as a crutch for my social anxieties. This is a good thing, I think. I had a marvelous time chatting with people at meals, and getting to know writers from various backgrounds in various genres. The two Steampunk Cruises put us in touch with some folks who have become dear friends over the years since we met at sea, and I look forward to having the same thing happen with my new friends from the Writing Excuses Cruise,

Writing Excuses 10.9: Where Is My Story Coming From?

Take a favorite piece of of media (but not something YOU created,) and reverse engineer an outline from it.

Back when I first thought about writing, I had an idea for a story that involved a fairly standard twist - the antagonist identified at the beginning of the story would turn out to be something else (a dupe, or a red herring) while the real antagonist would be revealed at or after the climax of the action. About 2 weeks later, I read ASCENSION by Meljean Brook, and realized she’d written a story using exactly that plot, with a secondary romantic story line woven through it. I tried reverse-engineering the outline, and was moderately successful. Now that I know more about plot and structure, here’s the rundown:

CH1
Scene 1
     A: Main Plot: Protagonist is investigating
a. Antagonist is subtle, working behind the scenes
b. Backstory explains the setup
c. Protagonist notices something that could be the Main Plot, but...
     B: Subplot introduced
a. Secondary character introduced - history between Protagonist, Secondary
b. Backstory explaining subplot/history between characters
     C: Main Plot - minor characters introduced
a. One is related to subject of murder investigation
b. Suspicions raised about characters
c. Relative didn't hang out with others until after the murder
d. Protagonist has a lead - former friend of the girl who's related.
CH2
Scene 1
     D: Secondary plot 
a. backstory regarding relationship
b. decision to continue to figure things out
     E. Main Plot
a. Protagonist interviews former friend of grieving relative
b. Relative had been hanging around with other girls before murder, not after - but                     more obviously after
c. Relationship issues
     F. Secondary Plot
a. Relationship issues reflect history of the Protagonist and Secondary
b. More backstory, some movement toward reconciliation (or at least the
  possibility)
CH3
Scene 1
     G. Main Plot - 
a. Another lead is interviewed
b. Girls at same location?
c. Red herring - girls parked there, but are somewhere else.
d. Second red herring - subject not demon.
e. Pacing slows a bit - investigation slightly bogging down?
f. Dialog and character development.
g  Interview commences.
h. Dialog to provide information on how much this character knew, and when
     H. Secondary Plot -
a. Interplay between Protag and Secondary - her interest is growing.
b. So is his. Among other things.
Scene 2
     I. Main Plot -
a. Protagonist and Secondary go to another location to interview another source
b. Source has been killed
c. Investigation undertaken
d. More deaths - not just source, but another vampire and a human
e. Can't be a demon acting directly, unlikely but possibly vampire - more likely human
CH4
Scene 1
     J. Sub Plot -
a. more backstory about the main characters
b. Character details
c. Decision is made to pursue relationship, but carefully (subplot climax)
CH5
Scene 1
     K. Main Plot
a. More Investigation - details about the dead vamp and relationship with coroner revealed
b. also a revelation that one of the girls is related as well.
c. Murders occurred after sunrise, so definitely human
Scene 2
     L. Main Plot
a. They leave the morgue.
b. Phone call - antagonists want to meet
c. It's a Trap!
Scene 3
     M. Main Plot
a. Meeting at football field
b. details revealed - girls misled about nature of things
c. conflict - girls attack, attack ultimately fails
CH6
Scene 1
     M. Main Plot -
a. Protagonists recover
b. Previous encounter analyzed - they weren't acting on their own
c. Previous hints about the library point to conclusion that it's at the center.
Scene 2
     N. Main Plot
a. Demon is the librarian.
b. confrontation and trickery ensue
c. Antagonist is defeated
     O. Subplot -
a. reiteration of intent to have relations.
b. The end.

It's interesting to note that I kind of skipped over a lot of the romantic secondary plot points in favor of the major plot - shows my initial bias, since I had no interest in putting together a romantic plot. There is definitely room in the story for a secondary plot, however, so looking at how Brook wove the two together is instructive. In the early part of the story, the plot lines alternate - Main, Second, Main, Second, Main, Second. Then, she ramps up the tension to a (literal) climax in the Secondary plot line (which, depending on one's point of view, could also be the main plot if you're viewing this as a romance story with a mystery subplot). Then the main story takes over, with a few lines of secondary plot tucked in here or there (mostly as character interaction, not as an entire scene), peaking and then tapering off, with a final romantic interaction between the two main characters to close out the story.

Writing Excuses 10.8: Q & A on Character

Sketch out the events before and after your dead-drop scene from last week and three weeks ago.

Possible backstory from earlier? Lachlan and Livonia met each other as the result of a kidnapping adventure story, and have kept in touch with each other despite their social disparity.

Scenes included mention of prior surveillance by Pembroke - more to this story than starting with market drop scene?

When did Lachlan learn carving? Possibility of other coded messages?

Possible earlier scenes:

- carving the item while on return trip from New Glasgow/New Edinburgh (need to figure out which city Livonia’s family inhabits - nobles as colonists? In the absence of a plantation system in the Darien colony, what are they there for?

- earlier scene where they set up the arrangement with the toy seller? Need to make him an actual character, rather than a piece of the scenery.

- run this through either short form template or STC to see where the market scene fits?

Possible later scenes:

- Conversation with Livonia. How do they arrange more face time?

- Party invitation? Butler not the final word…

- Are there any circumstances in which a young man in trade could be in the company of a young lady of quality? Chaperones? Public events?

- Another rescue? Rewrite original rescue outline to include this scene?

Writing Excuses 10.7: Who Are All These People?

Pick one of the dead-drop characters from the exercise two weeks ago, and turn them into a secondary character. Now take one of the characters with whom they interacted, and write the same scene again, but from this new character’s POV.

Pembroke stalked through the marketplace. How could he have been so oblivious? The young mistress had always been obstinate, and her interests were vexingly eccentric, but it was his job to notice patterns of behavior and curtail any that posed a danger to her person - or her station. This obsession with carved figures of animals had seemed harmless enough, after all. The family’s peculiar attachment to Presbyterianism meant that a carved Noah’s Ark was one of the few toys deemed acceptable, and it dovetailed neatly with her new interest in “Natural Science”, which was considerably less acceptable to the elder Stewarts - but as long as she kept the scientific interest quiet, it was easy enough to explain away the growing collection of carved animals as a young girl’s whimsy.

The carver being the actual object of interest hadn’t even occurred to Pembroke, until one of the maidservants had happened to complain that MIss Stewart always went to a particular stall that was inconveniently located at the other end of the market from a stall operated by the maidservant’s particular object of interest - a tall native fellow with intricate tattooing on his face and chest. It was at that point that Pembroke suddenly realized that the Ark was not only full of native Panamanian animals, but contained pairs of European and African animals, carved with the same cunning skill. In hindsight, it was certainly possible that a Native carver had consulted the same picture books available to colonists - after all, the bookseller was only a few stalls down from the carver - but it was at that point that his suspicions were aroused.
Taking his liberty on the day before market day had been no great trouble, and he had staked out the carver’s shop for nearly a month before the connection finally made itself clear - the MacAuslander whelp. He’d been sneaking his own carvings into the inventory of the toy shop, with the obvious collusion of the carver. Pembroke waited in the bookseller’s stall, peering carefully around the bookshelf that formed an interior wall as Lachlan made his own cautious approach to the toy dealer. He smiled grimly to himself as the youngster ducked inside, and followed silently as only a butler can.

Writing Excuses 10.6: The Worldbuilding Revolves Around Me (“The Magical 1%”)

Think about the last time you lost at a game. What was the process of thought that led to your loss? Now, replicate that moment in the dramatic structure of the story, except the story isn’t about games.

Casual games (especially those available on smartphones/tablets) often employ randomization. The ability to successfully complete a level may be set up to depend on the player giving in and buying one of the micro-transaction items that’s available to make winning easier. If one doesn’t, finishing the level is dependent on blind luck, and may be impossible without giving up and doing something else for a while until one has enough in-game currency to buy whatever item they’re trying to get you to purchase.
For example, in a particular level of Plants Vs. Zombies 2, the boomerang trees need something to block zombies so that they have enough time to fire enough boomerangs to finish them off. The Bonk Choy are more capable, but still need a little delay for some of the tougher zombies. The zombies carried by birds aren’t held up by the Spikeweed, so they wind up chewing through the randomly available defense units - unless one has enough money to buy butter pats to take them down, at 300 coins per shot…

Lachlan tossed and turned in his bunk, not sleeping at all. He kept running through that morning’s encounter, trying to figure a way in which it could have gone better. Having it go worse was easy enough to imagine - punching Pemberton in the nose would have been briefly gratifying, but that was assault and would have led to arrest and scandal. What he couldn’t figure was why Pemberton (and by extension, the rest of Miss Stewart’s household) was so dead-set on keeping the two of them from being friends. They’d gone through the whole ridiculous spy novel charade of passing carved animals back and forth just to maintain some connection, and now even that was gone.
When the obvious truth finally broke in Lachlan’s brain, he sat up suddenly enough that he smacked his forehead into the bunk above him. They’d both been thinking like children, when it came right down to it - not just the toys, or the playing at spycraft in the marketplace, but the whole situation between them. And if there was one thing a daughter of old money had to be aware of, it was her future beyond childhood. 
And her household was making sure that Lachlan was not to have a place in that future.  It wasn’t about his family’s wealth, or his working on a ship, or his personality - it was about him knowing his place. MIss Stewart would be presented to society soon, and while it was perfectly acceptable for her to dance with a junior officer or three at balls, service on a commercial ship didn’t carry the same social status that a commission did. The answer had been staring him in the face this whole time - and it all came down to the very thing they’d both decided didn’t matter - Class. She had it, he didn’t, and that was all there was to it. He’d never win over Pemberton, or finagle an invitation to one of their balls, or be allowed to approach her in public as anything more than a tradesman - certainly not as a friend.
Because they were worried about him becoming more than a friend. 

Writing Excuses 10.5: What Do You Mean My Main Character is Boring?

This particular episode was very helpful with regard to a story I'm working on. The plot arc made sense, but the stakes weren't as high as they could have been, and the whole thing just felt a little flat. Sure enough, the main character was kind of boring. Changing up the climactic scene so that his reason for "running away from his responsibility" has less to do with him being a huge chicken and more to do with needing to respect the chain of command before making a decision that will definitely have repercussions either way has me far more excited about doing more work on the story. But first, an exercise...

This week's Writing Prompt: 

Take three different characters and walk them through a scene. Convey their emotional states, their jobs, and their hobbies without directly stating any of those. The scene in question: walking through a marketplace, and they need to do a dead-drop.


1. Mary stalked purposefully through the aisles of the home improvement store, heading for the nuts & bolts section. Flakes of mud from the morning's trail ride exploded from her riding boots as each heel hit the tile floor The kidnappers had been very clear on exactly which bin of metric lock washers she should place the locker key in, which meant that one of them had to be watching from nearby. An older man wearing a vest looked her way, began to offer assistance, and then very quickly decided that continuing to restock the duct tape was a better course of action.

She turned down an aisle to get away from the lines at the registers, and then realized she was in a dead end. Gritting her teeth, she retraced her steps while cursing the marketing geniuses who decided that the grid layout common to big-box stores wasn't good enough for this one, nooo. Her own tastes in retail decor ran to overstuffed armchairs, artfully arranged impulse purchases by the register, and aisles that encouraged browsing without trapping anyone in a back corner. 

They'd taken her apprentice. Idiots. Evidently, given the ransom they'd demanded, they either had very optimistic ideas about metaphysical book sales or else they believed the old stories about her late husband's financial acumen. Odd, since most of those stories also had lurid details about his alleged ties to the Russian Mob. Maybe they hadn't heard that part of the stories. They certainly hadn't figured out that Mary was by orders of magnitude more dangerous than the mobsters whose money they were extorting. 

The nuts and bolts aisle finally appeared, and she turned in, searching for the metric lock washers. She dug through a couple of drawers as if looking for a particular size, dropping the locker key into the one specified in the ransom demand, and then made her way back down the aisle, stopping to pick up a blister pack of Wobble Wedges. They'd be just the thing for that one bookshelf in the store on Colfax, and then it wouldn't look like she'd been stomping all over the store for no reason. Besides - now it was her turn to watch.

2. Lachlan made his way through the market crowd as if they were standing still. He wasn’t quite running, exactly - that could have called unwanted attention to his progress, and he had a mission to complete. He was, however, very good at finding spaces to move into that allowed him to flow through the market like a drop of quicksilver. Compared to making one’s way through an airship’s galleys during a storm, this was easy as anything. He grinned to himself, and increased his pace just slightly.
The market stall he was heading for popped up on his right. He casually passed by it, glancing quickly inside to see if anyone else was there. Miss Stewart’s servants, especially her manservant Pemberton, didn’t much care for Lachlan as his family was ‘in trade’. As if they didn’t make their money from being ‘in trade’ - what did it matter whether one operated the cash box directly, or hired someone to do it? 
The shop was empty aside from the proprietor. Lachlan casually drifted back toward the entry, moving like the airship he’d just disembarked from. He moved back to the shelf where he and Miss Stewart had arranged their drop site, digging a carved wooden jaguar out of a cargo pocket. Some of his best work if he did say so himself. Livonia - Miss Stewart, he chided himself -  would enjoy the new addition to her collection when she visited the market next. Palming the figure, he looked over the other carvings on the shelf, and when he turned away, the new occupant looked as if it had been there all along, between a giraffe on one side and a howler monkey on the other. Lachlan caught the proprietor’s eye and nodded, then turned away - and nearly collided with the middle button on Pemberton’s waistcoat. 

3. Bob walked quickly through the mall, his breath coming in ragged gasps. His head twitched from side to side as he looked back over his shoulder, ignoring the instructions (repeated over and over and fucking OVER) given by his unexpected guest not to look around, but just to walk through the mall until he got to a specific bench - the only one in the courtyard near the Macy’s with both a fake streetlamp and an operational trash can. The briefcase was getting heavier and heavier in his grip, and he nearly dropped it as a small child ran across his path. He managed not to scream, so at least there was that.
This didn’t seem nearly as cool as it did on TV, with people casually meeting in public places to make exchanges of money, information or hostages. On the other hand, those guys were trained professionals , and their training videos were probably better quality than the ones he’d sat through on customer service, proper topping placement, and the legality of taking one’s lunch breaks on time. The briefcase slipped again, and Bob tightened his grip, trying not to think about how much blood must have soaked into the handle before he’d been entrusted with it.
The bench! There it was. Bob almost ran toward it, then stopped himself. Just a few more minutes, and then he could go back to his apartment and escape back into his shows. Maybe he’s skip “Burn Notice” tonight, though. He sank onto the bench, his knees suddenly rubbery with relief. Checking his watch, he marked off the 4 minutes he was supposed to wait before wandering off, leaving the briefcase behind. He was hyperventilating now. So close… 
A voice rasped in his ear. “You’re really not very good at this, are you?”. A large man in a windbreaker sat down next to him, his hand ominously tucked into the front of the jacket as if holding something heavy out of sight.